Weddings in Nepal - family traditions of the Himalayan people

To the west, east and south, Nepal is surrounded by India, and to the north it borders China's Tibet Autonomous Region. The Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal, with its capital in Kathmandu, can certainly be called a high-mountain country - it lies in the foothills of the Himalayas, and more than 80% of its area is occupied by mountains with an average altitude of 6,000 meters above sea level. Several mountain peaks are over 8,000 m, and the main one, Chomolungma (8848 m), better known as Mount Everest, is the highest mountain in the world.

Nepal is a multi-ethnic country, with dozens of different nations living here. In addition to the Nepalis, who make up more than half of the population, there are Biharis, Thars, Tamangs, Newars, Sherpas, Gurungs and others. They speak Nepali and other local languages, of which there are about 70 counted in Nepal.

Nepalis are similar to Indians in many ways: in appearance, clothing, traditions, and the division of society into varna (social classes). Nowadays, the boundaries between the varnas have been somewhat blurred; marriages can be performed regardless of class, nationality, even with foreigners.

The Nepalese have long emphasized their separateness and independence from India. They came up with a non-trivial way: they changed the time zone at home with a difference of 10 minutes from India's. Then they decided it wasn't enough, and added another 5 minutes.

About 80% of all Nepalis count themselves as Hindus, 10% as Buddhists. The rest follow Islam, animism, shamanism. At the same time, all religions are friendly with each other in Nepal, and often during holidays rituals and traditions, which have different origins, are intertwined into one. The most important thing in the life of every Nepali is family. Therefore, weddings are considered one of the most favorite and lavish holidays. "Bibaha" - this is the name of the ceremony.

Given the diversity of caste, ethnicity and religion, as well as material conditions, the traditional bibaha may vary from region to region. Nevertheless, there are many similarities everywhere, and the wedding is the most joyous and romantic celebration.

Preparing for the wedding

It used to be that parents chose their children's life partners and the bride and groom might not even know each other until the wedding day. Modern reality no longer requires such secrecy; two young people make the decision to get engaged on their own, but the opinion of their relatives is taken into account - one must receive parental blessing.

Numerous rituals are associated with the wedding, handed down for centuries from generation to generation, so the organization of the ceremony is a very serious matter. The bride's father announces the upcoming wedding to the family, after which he traditionally hands the groom a consecrated jug at his home.

Then another ceremony takes place at the bride's home. Guests gather, and the girl, as it were, "chooses" her groom from among the gathered bachelors. She puts a wreath of flowers around his neck, and then the fiancées present each other with engagement rings.

The engagement doesn't end there. After a few days, the fiancé, accompanied by musicians, sends gifts to his fiancée's home, and among them is an obligatory piece of white cloth with his handprints on it. Having received this symbolic proposal, the girl leaves her handprints on the fabric - the answer to "yes". Now it is time to turn to the astrologer.

The life of the Nepalese, like that of many Asian nations, depends on astrology, the position of planets, stars, horoscopes. Therefore, in such an uneasy work as choosing a wedding date, it can not do without the advice of a specialist. The astrologer, based on the horoscope of the bride and groom, determines the compatibility of the couple and chooses the ideal day for the marriage.

On the eve of the wedding, the girl's relatives prepare an invitation consisting of fruits, delicacies and gifts and send it to the groom. On the eve of the event, there is also a girls' night out, where friends hold chats, dances and have their bodies hennaed. They call this evening "henna night" today.

Wedding ceremony

"Quiet and intimate" - this is definitely not a Nepali wedding! Here a lot of relatives are invited, including the step-grandmother of the brother's wife, friends of relatives and relatives of friends. Lightly counting, some five hundred people gather!

According to tradition, the entire wedding should take place around a sacrificial fire. Fire is an important symbol in Hinduism, and most Nepalese are precisely Hindu. A canopy and arch is built in front of the groom's house, decorated with flags and lit by fire.

The wedding begins with all the friends, relatives and acquaintances of the bride and groom gathering at the bride's home, usually in the evening. There they pray, make offerings and then are generously hosted. According to custom, the fiancé's sisters do not allow the bride into the house until their brother bribes them with gifts. The local clergyman performs the traditional wedding rituals, and then the wedding procession goes to the bride's village or straight to her home. They carry the groom in a special palanquin. When they bring him, the girl's parents and relatives should go around him three times around. They shower the guests with rice and the groom with flower petals. The groom is not allowed to enter the house until the bride's husband invites him. A very important ritual takes place at home, when the girl's parents "hand over" their daughter to her fiancé. And this should happen at the exact moment determined by the astrologer. After the hands of the bride are in the folded hands of the fiancé, the marriage is considered concluded.

To date, there is a tradition of washing the feet of the bride and fiancé, although today it is rather purely symbolic. After the washing ritual, a dowry is given to the groom and the bride is presented with gifts. Then comes a very important moment of the wedding: the groom paints the bride's forehead with red powder, and henceforth they are husband and wife. The red color and the parting in the hair distinguish a married woman from an unmarried one in Nepal (and also in India). Incidentally, the bride at the wedding is also dressed all in red, as it is the color of marriage.

When the parents give their daughter to her fiancé, she leaves for her husband's home. This is how she is introduced to all her relatives. All the adult family members give her gifts. And a party is held for the guests. A wedding in Nepal usually lasts several days. In cities, wedding ceremonies are, of course, richer. The bride and groom drive through the streets in luxury cars, necessarily with musicians. In the villages, everything is simpler, but with more of a centuries-old tradition.

Interesting facts about the marriage of Nepalese peoples

We talked about a typical wedding in Nepal. But in this country as many nations, so many customs. Some traditional customs of small nations may differ strongly from those generally known and accepted as typical, for example:

Tamang people can live together without marriage. In the case of a woman's pregnancy, the newlywed father of the child can either marry his partner officially, or take the child away, having paid the mother an agreed amount. At the same time, the girl does not have to worry about her reputation - the Tamang do not see anything reprehensible in such a situation.
In the Satars, in an analogous situation, there are also two choices: either the man marries, or he searches for a new husband for her.
The Sherpas do not consider a child born out of wedlock to be a lifelong insult to the woman. Hardly, a wife can have several husbands if they are brothers. They live in unison under one roof like a big family. Most Sherpas are nevertheless monogamists. If a husband dies in such a family, the widow automatically becomes the wife of the younger brother, either native or stepbrother, regardless of age. Now he is obligated to take care of the woman. The widow has the right to refuse; all she has to do is split a wooden log in two in the presence of her deceased husband's relatives, discard her apron and say "I am free."
The people of the Dolpo region have a custom according to which a wife can live not only with her brothers, but also with close friends.
A bridegroom from the Thar nation works off three years in a woman's family before marrying her.