Intermediates
Gallantry and accessories
In the daily life of the K'Ho people (other names: Cờ Ho, Kơ Ho, or Kơho), who have inhabited areas in Vietnam's Central Highlands for centuries, typical features of matriarchy have been preserved. These are most vividly reflected in the custom of "taking a boy for a husband." According to this tradition, it is the woman who plays the decisive role in marriage.
It is difficult to determine exactly when this unusual custom appeared in the K'Ho nation, but it has been preserved until our time. According to rules handed down from generation to generation, it is up to the girl's family to take the initiative on her marriage. If a girl falls in love with some boy from her village or neighborhood, she asks her parents to send a matchmaker to his parents. The matchmaker's job is to convey the message that the girl is going to take their son as her husband. If the boy's parents don't mind, the two families set a specific date for the matchmaking of their children.
The envoys then bring the fiancé's family a hen, an alcoholic beverage and beads - customary gifts for good matchmaking. If the young man wants to shirk the marriage, he does so in an original way: he demands very expensive gifts from the girl's family so that she herself will give up her intention.
Representatives of the K'Ho nation treat a man's ability to work as a family asset, so the fiancé's family has the right to demand wedding gifts from the family of the future daughter-in-law. The more powerful the fiancé, the more gifts there should be. In the past, the list of wedding gifts included a hen, alcohol, a buffalo and gongs - a very valuable musical instrument in the Central Highlands. Nowadays, this old custom also applies, but the rules have been greatly simplified. The bride's family can bring either gold or cash in the order of 30 million VND, or about 5,000 PLN, as a dowry instead of pet animals.
If the bride's parents agree to the fiancé's family's terms, wedding gifts are delivered to the bride's home on the agreed date. The fiancé's parents lay them on the home altar, telling their ancestors that their son is to be given to the girl as a husband. After performing the necessary rituals, the fiancé, together with his future wife's relatives, goes to her home to continue the ceremony. Here the eldest woman of the family, or her representative, leads the ritual of worshiping the ancestors and Heaven, wishing the bride and groom eternal happiness.
The wedding ritual leader then instructs the young couple on how they are to behave after the marriage. Above all, the spouses are required to be faithful to each other.
After the cult ritual, the festive part of the wedding begins, during which the girls and boys of the village dance and sing together.
When the rituals and wedding games are over, the marriage of the two K'Ho youths becomes a reality, and the spouse already remains permanently in his wife's home. In the old days, if the bride's family did not bring all the agreed-upon gifts, the newlyweds would stay in the boyfriend's house until his parents fulfilled their obligation. This custom also functions today: if, due to financial problems, the bride's family did not manage to prepare the required amount of money, the girl will also stay in the husband's house, but only for a certain period of time - then the young couple returns to live permanently with her family.
Women of the K'Ho nation usually start families at the age of 16-17, while their spouses are then 18-20 years old. The family raises an average of 5-6 children, who always bear the mother's surname - not surprisingly, the rules of matriarchy apply....
